One Last Time...

It was cold outside, and I had many excuses not to go to the 5:45pm Level 2 Yoga class at Sonic, but this was no ordinary class. This class held great meaning for me. It was Jonathan Fields' last time teaching class. I was a bit nervous.

Jonathan Fields is an amazing being. He quit his high stress job as a lawyer to find his own path. He opened up several health and fitness businesses, and amongst them he built one that took on more meaning than just a mere business. It was a home to explore growth, evolve, bloom, play, and build a community. This dear place ignited my heart and spiritual growth, and took me to levels I could not have imagined.

I received my Teacher Training at Sonic Yoga-Center for Yoga Studies in late October of 2006. It was such a life altering experience. I was introduced to a new way of life, and an innumerable amount of new experiences. Since Sonic's creation, along with Lauren Hanna co-owner, they have cultivated a beautiful community of knowledgeable, well-rounded, and inspiring teachers. His understanding of the body, his love of kinesiology, and the mind body connection made his classes and teaching style so powerful. Lauren's understanding of the subtle body, and the more esoteric Eastern philosophy brought a different dimension and balance to our training.

Once I graduated their program I no longer stepped foot into their classes. I would do anything to avoid any of the senior teacher's classes. I felt embarrassed; not good enough to be in one or their amazing classes.

Yesterday I humbly walked into my beloved home studio and was greeted by the brilliant gem Jo. I gave her the most sincere and heart felt hug. I was overcome with emotion. Jonathan was at her side behind the desk. I greeted him and quickly went off to change. Class was starting soon. As I walked into the dimly lit classroom, class had begun. I laid out my mat quietly. Stood at the foot of it, brought my hands to heart center,closed my eyes and set up the intention of humility. Inhale, raised my arms up high. Exhale, allowed my body to melt forward into Uttanasana. Inhale, prepare. Exhale, step back into plank. As I tuned in to my body and initiated my movements with my breath I felt my body grow warm and my mind steadfast. I allowed Jonathan to facilitate my practice and boy was I ever so grateful. As class wound down we moved into hip-opening poses, eased into long forward folds, and gently laid into sivasana. Tears began to fill my eyes, and overwhelming emotion took over my body. I cried, cried in gratitude, in surrender, and in forgiveness to myself.

See two years ago, I voted myself unworthy of my senior teachers and denied myself the opportunity to grow and study from the best. We must accept ourselves, come to peace with being terrible at what we do and humbly take steps forward to learn. Our prides and egos do not allow us to feel comfortable in exposing our imperfections and lack of mastery especially in front of those we see as superiors and those we feel accountable to. In doing so we punish ourselves and block our path to growth. This realization washed over every cell of my body and all I could do was cry. The biggest service we could give ourselves is the gift of acceptence and humility. Allow ourselfs the gift of vulnerability. Allow ourselves the position of student and receiver in everything that we do, even when we are the giver. We must understand that life is our teacher. Our titles, ranking or experience don't matter. They don't divide us from one another. Everyone is our teacher, and we are teachers to those around us. May we all humble ourselves and allow our beings to learn and play regardless of if we think we are worthy. We are greater in our capability to grow, learn, and love that we all know.

I have come a long way, and have a long way to go. There is growth in me and I will remain green.

I leave you with one thought. Have you ever denied yourself the opportunity to grow because you felt you were unworthy, or not good enough? That is an excuse! An excuse not to try harder and an excuse to resist growth. It is fear of failure. The truth is We Can Not Fail because every second is an opportunity for change. The only way you will fail is if you quit. Don't quit. It is our divine right to grow, live and explore.

I deliver this to you with my heart on my sleeve and heartfelt tears. Please do feel free to share your stories, leave your thoughts, or comments. I always love hearing from you guys :).

With all my love, gratitude, and surrender,
Yelimar

Spotlight on Jonathan Fields for spreading infectious wellness to the world:

Please do visit Jonathan Fields' blog and website:http://www.careerrenegade.com/
He is a health & fitness industry entrepreneur, author, blogger, yoga instructor, and kick ass coach on how to take on the quantum leap of changing your job for the life you want.
His new book "Career Renegade: How to Make a Great Living Doing What You Want" will be in stores in 2009! He is giving early bird discounts if you want to check it out.